Why Sex Ed Isn’t Just About Sex and What Everyone Needs to Know
Talking to kids about sex, consent, and body image can feel like an Olympic-level event for many parents and caregivers. But what if it didn’t have to be that hard? Enter Justine Ang Fonte. She’s a proud Filipina educator and speaker with a no-nonsense, deeply compassionate approach to sex education. Justine holds advanced degrees in education and public health and has made a name for herself in outlets like The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Business Insider. You might even recognize her as the “friendly ghostwriter” behind boundary-setting text messages on Instagram.
More than that, Justine is the voice many of us didn’t have growing up, the one that teaches truth, respect, and empowerment through conversations that matter. Whether you’re a parent or a trusted adult, her approach to comprehensive sex ed will give you the confidence to help kids build healthier relationships with their bodies, their peers, and the information they’re absorbing from the world around them.
So how did Justine go from teaching math in Texas to redefining sex ed across the country? Her first year in the classroom lit the fire. Teaching eighth-grade math in an abstinence-only state like Texas meant she was face-to-face with a system that had failed many of her students. Some were already pregnant, others were parents, and many missed school simply because they didn’t understand their own bodies. One girl skipped nearly half the school year because she didn’t know her period was normal. That experience drew a clear connection for Justine: the lack of health education fuels the achievement gap. And she’s been working to bridge it ever since.
Now based in New York City, Justine combines her background in education and public health to teach students and families the information they deserve. And if you’re wondering why this still makes people uncomfortable, she won’t sugarcoat it. Systems like white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism have left generational scars, especially around topics like sex. Most parents never received comprehensive sex education themselves. So when these topics enter the classroom, some parents feel threatened, as if teaching their kids anatomy and boundaries undermines their role.
But here’s the truth: comprehensive sex education isn’t just about intercourse. It’s about safety. It’s about knowing how your body works, how to care for it, and how to protect it. That’s lifesaving.
Research shows that when children know the correct names for their body parts and understand bodily autonomy, they are less likely to be targeted by sexual predators. That’s because predators seek out kids who lack the language and confidence to set boundaries. So the sooner we start having these conversations, the better.
And it’s not just about safety. It’s about equity. Every student walks into the classroom carrying whatever they’re facing at home, poverty, racism, sexism, abuse. Expecting them to focus on algebra without supporting their emotional and physical health is like asking someone to run a marathon on a sprained ankle. That’s why social and emotional learning needs to include conversations about mental health, substance use, nutrition, and yes, sexuality and gender identity.
Kids are going to get this information somewhere. It might be Google. It might be YouTube. Or it might be porn. And that’s a problem. Most parents want to be their child’s primary source of information, but without guidance or language, that role gets filled by someone—or something—else. So having these conversations in schools and at home is key to building trust and ensuring young people are getting accurate, respectful, age-appropriate education.
If you’re wondering how to talk about body image, sexuality, and sexualization with kids, Justine has advice for every age group.
For the little ones, think Pre-K through third grade, it’s all about body affirmation. Help them understand that their bodies come from their unique genetic blueprint, shaped by their ancestors. Encourage curiosity and use real anatomical terms. Yes, say “penis” and “vulva” instead of cutesy nicknames. Teach them that those parts are private, and that they have the right to set boundaries around their body.
When talking with middle schoolers, acknowledge the changes puberty brings. It’s happening fast, and it’s confusing. Some feel left behind, others feel exposed. Kids might already know they’re queer or trans, and if their bodies don’t match how they feel inside, that can be terrifying. Creating space for honest conversations allows them to care for their changing bodies in ways that feel true to them.
By the time students reach high school, body image becomes tightly woven with social capital. Media literacy here is critical. Most of the naked bodies teens see don’t come from textbooks—they come from mainstream porn. That means they’re comparing themselves to edited, curated, often surgically-altered bodies. So the conversation has to expand. This isn’t just about sex. It’s about self-worth. It’s about understanding that your value isn’t tied to your abs or your thigh gap or whether you fit into one narrow beauty standard.
And yes, at some point, we have to talk about porn. But it doesn’t need to be the first conversation. Instead, start by addressing gender dynamics, what they’re seeing on social media, or a scene in a show. Build a foundation so that when the topic of porn does come up, they’re ready to think critically.
Here’s the key point: porn is entertainment, not education. It’s a performance. Just like we don’t expect commercials to be real life, we shouldn’t expect porn to teach kids how relationships work or what pleasure and consent should look like.
So how do we actually start these conversations? Justine offers a few scripts to help: With younger kids, keep it simple. “That part of your body is called your vulva. It’s private and you get to decide who sees or touches it.” With teens, you might say, “I saw this article about how social media affects body image. What do you think about that?”
Remember, these talks don’t need to happen under pressure or in one big “sex talk.” They’re ongoing. They can happen in the car, while watching a show, or when something pops up in the news. The point is to create an open channel so kids feel safe coming to you with questions. Justine isn’t asking us to be perfect. She’s asking us to be present. To use correct language. To be honest about what we know and what we’re still learning. To make sure the next generation gets the education we wish we had.
Big thanks to Justine Ang Fonte, who joined my podcast episode to share her wisdom and for showing us that the “hard conversations” don’t have to be so hard after all.
Because at the end of the day, even if you’re not talking to your kids about sex, they’re still hearing about it. From friends, from the internet, from the media. Let’s make sure they’re also hearing from the people who love them most.