How to Try On Each Role
When I first heard about the three lenses it caused a five-alarm fire in my head. As a health coach, podcaster, and content creator, I’m a sponge. I’m also an insatiable student, so as I learn, I share with my clients, podcast listeners, and you, dear reader.
I’ll start by saying these are three lenses we can use to view any situation or experience in our lives. This could include how we look at progress toward a goal, our experience of a holiday, a frustrating day at work, or even a weekend outing. You can also zoom out and take a big-picture approach, using these lenses to think about your life.
The three lenses are hero, victim, and learner
If we look through the hero lens, it might sound like, “Look at how I handled that project at work. The team would have been lost without me. We wouldn’t have met the deadline if I hadn’t stepped up.” When thinking about health or events, it might be, “I’ve got this. Everyone loves the salad I brought. If I hadn’t brought it, the buffet wouldn’t have been the same.” Seeing situations through the hero lens can feel pretty energizing.
Next is the victim lens. Often, we notice this more in others than ourselves. Through this lens, everything and everyone else is to blame. At work it could be, “This was so stressful. I wouldn’t have had to stay late if my coworker had done their part on time.” For health or food-related scenarios, it could sound like, “I can’t find anything to eat here,” or “I have no choice but to grab the Doritos because my salad was gone before I got to it.” We’ve all had moments like this.
Then there’s the learner lens. The learner might say, “That was stressful because I had to pick up the slack. I could stay up all night or tell our boss we wouldn’t meet the deadline. Next time, I’ll follow up sooner and make sure everyone knows the timeline. I can approach it differently and keep the team in the loop.” The learner considers the experience, asks questions, and explores other possibilities, often giving others the benefit of the doubt.
Applied to a health or event scenario, a learner might say, “That party didn’t go exactly as planned. Those Doritos called my name, and my salad was gone. Next time, I’ll make sure to eat protein before I go. I’ll bring a veggie tray, a salad, maybe even a bigger salad so there’s more to go around.”
With any situation, we can choose which lens to use. We can leave feeling like the hero, the victim, or the learner. The power is in the choice. Each approach can feel right in the moment, yet trying on each lens for the same situation can be eye-opening. In my experience, sometimes I start in the hero or victim role and later shift to the learner role.
When I first heard this concept, I realized I wanted to choose the learner lens more often. I noticed that when I did, it helped me grow, improve, and operate more effectively at work, with friends, and with family — basically, in all areas of life. This approach also works in relationships. Instead of getting frustrated with someone, I try to see what might be going on for them through the learner lens.
It’s important to remember that the hero or victim lenses aren’t wrong. Choosing the learner lens doesn’t always make you the hero. There’s room for all three roles, and we’ve all been in each at some point. I’ve felt like the hero for staying calm in a tense moment, and I’ve felt like the victim when I lost my temper. What makes a difference is realizing these are roles or approaches, not identities, which gives room for change and growth.
I hope you find these lenses to be a helpful tool for observing yourself as I have. Considering situations from different outlooks can be valuable for growth in mind, body, and spirit. So, as you read this now, which lens are you wearing? Hero, victim, or learner.